I think I speak for all of us when I say we harbor a secret fantasy of being Joan Collins when we grow up. She seems to epitomise a kind of knowingly hilarious yet also deeply sincere glamour, which I, as a bumbling idiot, can only daydream about emulating. But now I can! (Not really – but a bit, and that’s better than nothing.) Joan (we are top mates on first name terms now) has launched her very own makeup range, and it’s all you would hope it to be. Luxurious, extravagant, bright and sparkling, encased in delightfully ostentatious packaging.
I received the First Base Foundation, which is an ace “sexy” name and one I can’t believe hasn’t been pinched before. Unfortunately the shade I got was too dark for my ghost face, but from messing around with it on the back of my hand it seems very pleasant. I’m all about the ‘anti-ageing,’ ‘for mature skin’ base products, because even at 22 I find them really pretty on the skin. Why would you not want more glow and plumping, at any age? This has loads of top trendy ingredients like hyaluronic acid and collagen things, which I am a sucker for. There is something deeply reassuring about makeup which makes you look better while it’s on, but also better in the future when it’s off.
I also got a very cute Summer Kiss Duo (another name I am very on board with). This contains a bronzer and a lipstick, cleverly packed together in an exceptionally satisfying, lego-esque way. The packaging is Art-Deco and nicely heavy, and, of course, gold. In the pan the bronzer looks borderline terrifying: quite dark, quite orange, and packed with gold glitter. What is totally remarkable is how none of this translates onto the skin. It’s a pretty sheer formula, which is definitely to its credit, as it sweeps subtly on, becoming almost unnoticeable apart from making one look a bit better. Healthier, or whatever.
The Divine Lips Lipstick (oo-er) is super beautiful, too. I have never before owned a lipstick in entirely metal packaging, and I now see why that was a dreadful mistake. This seems old-fashioned in the best way, sort of like your glamourous Aunt’s best lipstick. I got the shade Evelyn (I can only imagine names after some exceptionally elegant lady), which is a warm, bright pink. It’s surprisingly wearable for a neon: I have enjoyed pairing it with a bare face and some brushed up eyebrows and looking very cool doing so, I must say. It has a light, pleasant scent that doesn’t hang around making all snacks taste weird, which is, as we all know, unacceptable. And it has some more of that ace hyaluronic acid to keep lips soft and plump (oo-er, again).
Overall, a success: everything you would expect from a woman with an ‘aura of instant glamour.’ I have definitely not yet achieved that aura, but it’s definitely fun to fake it with this collection.