I am a total Glossier sucker, which is an annoying thing for many reasons. First, their minimal-cool-girl-low-maintenance aesthetic is just not something which totally jives with someone who loves glitter as much as I do. There’s a time and a place for no-makeup-makeup, sure, but to suggest that there is thus no time nor place for fifteen eyeshadows and navy blue lipstick hurts my heart. I can get over this, though, because the products are the business. I haven’t tried them all, but what I’ve tried, I’m way into.
What I can’t get over is that the line is still only available in the USA. This is annoying, especially since they keep saying they’re about to start worldwide shipping and then changing their minds. Mean. Luckily I am sometimes in the USA (I’m a jetsetter and baller, don’t worry about it) so I have managed to get my grubby hands on some of their products that way. And so it was that I got the flavoured (or as they call it, “flavored”) balm.com trio, and my life was changed.
Well, not really. But I am so pleased with these balms.
I’d already known and loved the original and coconut versions, but these three are even better. For one, look at them. I couldn’t envisage more aesthetically pleasing packaging if I tried. The rose one, even has a green lid like a rose stem. I love them, even just for looking at.
But I don’t have to just look at them, I can use them too! They are delightful. The formula of the original balm is my personal favourite lip balm formula. It’s thick and a bit waxy, but doesn’t become melty and slippy on the lips. This makes it a great lipstick topper or bottomer, because it walks the fine line between slidey slidey Vaseline types and thicker, matter formulas like the Nuxe Reve de Miel. If I am goldilocks then this is my baby bear’s bed, made of lip balm.
These three manage to improve on the original formula, mostly because the flavours are so great. The mint one is sort of spearminty (as opposed to pepperminty), aka sweeter and softer. I also think minty oils around the lips act like plumping lip gloss a bit, but without the pain. The rose one is rosey, but not the sort of horrible, cloying rosey that you don’t want slipping into your mouth. It’s also tinted a pale, sheer pink, which makes it look supes good as a natural, greasy cheek highlight. The cherry has the quintessential cherry lip balm smell, and a mid-warm-pink tint, which gives your lips a “just been kissing” vibe; the best vibe.
One day, all of the people in England will finally be able to buy these lip balms, and probably for that day everyone will stop worrying about Brexit and fighting with each other. We’re probably mostly fighting because our lips feel so chapped and sore. Anyway, there’s more to world peace than good lip balms, apparently.
Glossier, Flavoured Balm Dotcom, $12, Glossier